VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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