if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
