so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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