theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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