how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
