I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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