Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can't put those talents on a resume
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
