Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I could make wine with my vomit
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
