I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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