just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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