I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
