I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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