I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Randomize
