ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
