More tranny stories later!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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