totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
