Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
