she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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