I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
