I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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