Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
