We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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