I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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