Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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