Will you blow on my dice?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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