So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
