Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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