he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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