hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
false alarm, still single
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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