Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
