so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
