turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
