So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize