NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
