After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
