Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
