He uses pillows to masturbate.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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