you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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