So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
