Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
