you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
