Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize