apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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