i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
