Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
where am i from again
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
