My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
