I'm so fucking centered right now
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
