return my video game
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
