she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
