Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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