I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
